Is it about to happen? Is she about to pop the big question? A quick look around at your apartment will reveal your first clue. Are more of her things in your apartment than her own? It's simply more convenient for her to leave some items of necessity at your place especially if your apartment is where you both meet at the end of the day.
This is nesting behavior and is a good sign that she trusts you, depends upon you as a protector and a healthy sign the relationship is growing. Another word for growing is moving forward.
Check your Apartment
To determine the rate of forward momentum you may need to check your apartment for indicators she is thinking about moving in. You already know she has sectioned off half of your medicine cabinet and perhaps you already know about the small bag under your bathroom sink that you avoid opening.
Look in the dresser to see if one or two of your drawers have been sequestered. Is your closet divided up with your clothes on one side and her clothes on the other? And you already knew about the cleaning, she started that long ago. But has she cleaned and organized your refrigerator? As the cold chill comes down your spine the realization sets in. I know that feeling. After an amazing night, my girl sat me down and we had the talk.
Psychological Preparation
After seeing the signs you need to mentally prepare yourself for the talk. She has made it very easy for you to get comfortable with her presence in your domain. But are you ready to commit? This doesn't refer to monogamy. Of course you gave up other girls long ago else you need to read an article on why men cheat.
What I refer to by commitment here is more than monogamy. It deals with your willingness to adapt yourself to anther's physical and emotional needs. Not simply on a scheduled basis as before but potentially for a lifetime. She accepts you, but can you accept her as a living part of who you are as well?
This is difficult to explain but I hated when my girl got sick because I get sick soon after. I constantly accused her of giving me the flu. But when she got sick while away visiting her relatives she called me sounding so awful. She had gotten sick on the trip over and when I learned about it, I got sick as well. It is what it is.
The question you ask yourself is do you love her? You will know the answer because, although you may have thought you loved someone before, this is your first time feeling like this. Do you see yourself growing old with her?
Is She Planning the Talk?
For seemingly no reason, your girl got off work early and called you during the day. She states she will use her key to get into your apartment and meet you there after you get off. Yes, she already has a key, you gave it to her. When you arrive she has made a great meal and the rest of the night is a story straight out of erotic fiction.
You awaken feeling like a king. She is already awake. She may, or may not, have prepared breakfast, depending on how tired she is. I got no breakfast as she sat me down with her wide beautiful sad eyes. I was still barely awake and reeling from the night before. She began by saying, "I don't want to rush you..."
Your Place or Mine
Your Place or Mine
The talk is really is a veiled ultimatum. If you ever hope to have another night like last night then you only have one option. What lies ahead is how to go about it. Never move in with her. Odds are she doesn't want you to move in with her. But if her place is larger, nicer and closer to town this may not be the case. Do not move in with her. If the relationship goes south you have no where to go and have to deal with settling in to another apartment. Perhaps you've also lost your rent controlled agreement.
Even if the relationship goes smoothly, your friends have no where to hang out. Oh yeah, we didn't mention that you are still holding on to that dream. You should plan on designating one of your single friends' apartments as the new hangout spot.
There are never more than two birds in one nest unless eggs are involved. Yes, relinquishing your place as the designated hang out spot also means you are no longer the alpha male of your pack. You trade this to become a grown up. There are too many reasons to never move in with her to mention, just don't do it. Agreeing that it is time to move forward is good, setting boundaries is also good.
The Move!
So you have helped her move all her things into your apartment. Rule of thumb here, where ever she wants her things to be is exactly where you were thinking it should be. And you were thinking about tossing out that old couch anyway. Ideally, you have discussed with your pals who will "hold on" to your old furniture. Be prepared to let that old couch and its college memories go. If the relationship lasts, your pal has a right to claim it, possession being 9/10 of the law.
Don't wait for her to suggest which of your items need to go to make room for hers. It's important that the move is not just logistically smooth but emotionally as well. Move anything you want to keep into storage or to your parent's garage if it's that important to you. You can also let her know your items of sentiment. She knows this is a big step for you as well and will understand.
Most Important!
This final part is perhaps the most important depending on your situation. Begin preparing for a home to own for your family. Do not wait on this. Finish up those last few courses toward your college degree. Can your current job support a family and allow for savings? Do either of you currently own reliable transportation or still owe car payments. This takes most men by surprise but these are not post marital plans. These plans should begin the very next day after she is securely in your nest.
One last thing you should also keep in mind. It’s not realistic to expect that night of ecstasy to be repeated nightly. You also trade that to be a grown up.
Previously Posted on FullofKnowlege.com
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